Thursday, March 31, 2011

Im sooo damm upset right now!

I am SOOO fu#%in upset right now. I signed on into FB about 15 minutes ago and Julia sent me a message about her getting beat with a belt by her father(?) Why did he do this?.. Because "I fell asleep on the couch after playing volleyball"
WTF?.. who the hell beats there kid with a belt because they fell asleep on the couch??. I'm am soo upset!!  First of all... she's 13.. you don't beat a 13 year old with a belt over your lap!

Second, Julia is such a sweet girl & she doesn't deserve this crap at all. She's going thru a really tough time as it is. With the drama at school, the insecurities, losing and gaining friends. It's alot to handle.

I wish she was a real niece to me. I love her and care for her... alot more than she prob realizes. I just wanna go down and bring her down to Trudys so she can hang with her a few days.. just so she can be happy for a few days... so she can smile just a bit.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

She was upset tonight

So my niece Trudy is feeling really bad and missing her friends. Last week she lost 4 friends because of bad mouthing each other. I don't place the blame entirely on my niece, but it takes two to argue and throw verbal assaults at each other. I mean, she's a smart girl, but lets her emotions get the best of her sometimes and says things she regrets later.
But by that time the damage is already done and she's lost a good friendship down the drain. Anyways she was missing Skylar and started to get upset. I avoided the "see what happens when you open your mouth" lecture. She realizes herself that she messed up. I just hope they all look back in a year and say to each other... "what the freak were we thinkin?"  :-D I think they'll eventually get back as friends. It's all about maturity and forgiveness.

Monday, March 28, 2011

A niece turns two

So me and Kenny spent yesterday down in Snug Harbor for Ariana's B-day, I can't believe she's two years old!! Wow does time fly. She's growing up really quick. Dick and Lucielle drove down fro Mass to spend time with the family as well. They are such good people and so polite an courteous. They have alot of respect for people. and thats rare to come across anymore. Becky was even up which was nice to see!

Dick, Luceille, and Bri.. for some reason Bri looked lost here!!

Becky, Trudy and Toni

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Why apologize?

Sometimes we say things that we regret. As my dad always said we forget to "engage the brain before placing the mouth in gear". Someone hurts us, and we get defensive instantly. We clamp up, and then say things we wouldn't dare say if we were hugging them. I've done it myself. Opened my mouth and crap would come out and hurt the very person I love.
But thats were apologies come into play. Saying "I'm sorry" means saying I still love you and I messed up. It takes a strong person to walk away and to forget a friendship. But it takes a much more stronger person to apologize, and to mend it. If we never apologized, and never meant it.. we wouldn't have very many friends left.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What do we really need in life?

We all need to be loved.. to be held and appreciated. To be noticed and thought of. It's a need for humans that no animal has. It's said that humans have 5 basic needs in order to survive. Water, food, shelter, warmth, and love. Some may say that you don't even need love. That you can survive without it and keep on living a normal life.

Well.. it's been proven that depression is caused by a lack of love. Nobody likes the loneliness. People can get so depressed and sink so low that they feel unwanted, worthless and then they decide it's not even worth living. That since nobody cares, it's easier to end it so they don't feel the pain anymore. They try to end their lives to end the pain. Then there are the ones that hurt so bad, that they can literally be sent to the hospital. "Broken Heart Syndrome" is a real issue surprisingly.

I know it's rough sometimes

Can't sleep. Got some friends on my mind. I mean I should be thinking bout my job, getting my car tuned up and ready for another inspection, or worrying about Conner betting better. But instead I got a kiddo on my mind. I was bored and started editing some pics as I always do, and it occurred to me that she rarely smiles
 :-(   Out of the dozens of pictures I've seen of her I can probably count on one hand how many pics she's smiled in.

I dunno.... It's probably dumb because they're not my kids, but I guess thats why I worry bout them. They got alot of crap on their plate already, and then there's the relationships, school, problems at home...etc. I can only imagine how it hurts sometimes, because adults got thru the same thing. All I want to do is just give her a hug... that's all.. nothing more... nothing less. Just to let her know that I'm here for her. Anyways, gonna try to head down Thursday night and bring Trudy up to see Julia. Maybe go out Friday for ice cream or pizza or something :-D

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Earthquake and Tsunami hits Japan

Friday, 3/11 Japan was hit by an earthquake registering 8.9, with a tsunami quickly follwing. This is the 5th largest earthquake since 1900. It been noted that they only had 15-20 minutes to evacuate villages and towns before the tsunami hit. Thousands have been reported missing and feared dead. In one city alone almost 9,500 are missing. It's so very sad. My prayers are for the Japanese
Google Map of epicenter

CBS Live Coverage (turn the volume down)

Materialistically; why do we always need to have more?

Why is it that we can never be happy with what we have? We always seem to want more. The new and improved is offered to us and we grab it without thinking another second. It's like mankinds history with materialism has been filled with pride, greed, and selfishness. We can never be satisfied with what we have and we even have lost the our perspective on the differences between our wants and our needs. I believe the media and commercialism has a lot to do with this. This is what drives the competitiveness in mankind overall. Businesses depend and thrive on this. Everything has to be bigger and newer otherwise it's not to our appeal and will not last.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I hate my self for caring

I've seen it happen with my daughters friends. I've seen one lose her "V" card at 14, and get pregnant at 15..... I've seen another get pushed around and verbally abused by her mother so much that she started cutting herself....I've seen another get caught up with soo many drugs, I was waiting to see her name in the paper of her ODing. It's scary out there for em. And they've already gone thru so much crap. Thats why I love em. And the sad part?... all I can do is talk to them. I can't be there for them, or help them out. I dunno... maybe I just need a life... maybe I shouldn't even bother.

I must be really stupid. I mean what the fuck was I thinking about when I started caring and giving help. I started getting involved in these kids lives, and they're still going to screw it up. They'll still get into the stupid relationship, get hurt, some will prob lose their "V" card, one will prob end up getting pregnant. What I need to do is let em go their way, make their own stupid mistakes. It's not like any of them are family anyways. Trudy is my niece and that was only by marriage. So she's not even blood related. Everyone from Julia, Dara, Skylar, Lexi...etc. I mean they're good kids... but they're not mine. I really don't think any of em really needs me anyways so. All we've been doing most of the time is playing that stupid poking war. I mean it's all cute...but I really could care less. Fuck it
I need to go back home, I need to visit my sisters, my bro, and my mom and dad.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Conner in the last few months

Here's a video I made of Conner my grandson. :-) He's been gone only 8 days, and I miss the kiddo already.

Conner - the past 4 months from Shannon Linquist on Vimeo.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


So my laptop had been acting up.. come to find out it had a virus. It's been reading and writing over the same sectors over and over again making my laptop shut down. It funny though... because today Im feeling like greasy grimey gooey gopher guts myself. I've got a cold with a temp of 101.3. This sucks! Oh well... hopefully better tommorow. Been talking to Lexus on FB a little more. She's a kiddo who I met on the Answerbag website back in November. She had been so distraught she was considering doing herself in. She's had a real rough time it seems, but I think she her mom and her hopefully are doing alright. Just hope she knows Im here if she needs to talk, but I think everything will work out good for her. She's young, but she's very intelligent. Not much else on FB tonight. :-/

Saturday, March 5, 2011

They should think about the future more

Today I headed down to Snug Harbor again to help Angela with the video to laptop issue, but this time I had the program, and everything worked out great. I'm guessing her and Samantha are getting along better ever since Sam has been concentrating on trying to graduate from school. She's smart and has plans which is great!! I really hope everything works out for her. Some of these kids though don't really plan ahead that much anymore. Some seem to think more in the here and now, which is really sad. I really hope she graduates. It'll be a big ego boost she needs.

I grew up in the MTV Generation and it seems like the previous generations had a little more forethought about their future and what they wanted to do with their lives than the next generation. I remember talking to William "Bubba" Landing when we were living in Hertford a while back. The old man used to sit on his porch rocker and tell some amazing stories about his childhood, about growing up in the depression. He had told me that they had to live day by day usually eating only one meal, on the little money they had.  They didn't know where they were gonna be the next day, but they always thought about the future, where they would be in 10 years. I guess that kind of thinking gave them a lil more strength to endure those hard times.
I think maybe kids these days should do the same. I've asked a few of my nieces' friends on FB what they wanted to do, and a couple had a very defined careers planned. One wants to be a Child Psychiatrist. Another wants to be a Pharmacist, but others just said "I don't know", including my niece.

I used to think the same way when I was in school. I really didn't care or give it any thought of what I was going to do in 5 years to graduation. They should think about where they're going to be when they get out of school, what they're going to do with thier lives, what kind of careers will they have. It'll help them concentrate on more important things and make all this drama/relationship/breakups-with-friends stuff just a little easier to endure. I know I wish I did back in the day.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Too quiet around the house since they've been gone - a new FB friend

So Amanda and Conner have been gone since Monday, but it seems like a few weeks already. I miss the lil kiddo. I know they'll be back but sure seems too quiet round the house. Hopefully they'll be back round May/June, but we'll see. Still hard to believe that he's my grandson. I sure don't feel grand at all! I've always asked everyone to call me "g-daddy". Makes me feel my age! :-) Anyways I pray that Amanda and Derek work out and resolve their issues and problems and make their marriage last. I want them closer, but I don't want to be selfish and their marriage suffer.
Anyways, got a new FB freind  - her name is Lexus. Met her a few months ago back in Nov on She's a good kiddo who's gone thru some big time problems and has contemplated suicide herself. So she needs a lil support herself right now. Not trying to be weird or anything, but she is really beautiful too for a teen.
Speaking of teens, I know my niece is gonna be getting into deep trouble here very soon. I figured she'd want to hang out with her friends up in Hertford Saturday, so I asked her if she wanted to Julias. She initalliy said yes, which I was happy just to get her out of Snug Harbor, but I'm guessing she changed her mind and is stayhing down there. No doubt to hang out with another kid who's in need of some serious parenting. Oh well... can't help em all. She's choosing what she wants to do on her own, and if she wants to get into the drinking and pot, well, thats something her mom and dad have to deal with. I'm just her uncle... it's not that I can do anything about it. Anyways...heading down there nevertheless to help out Angela with the video transfer again. Gonna be fun this time, cause I got the software!! LOL

Thursday, March 3, 2011

What causes a person to commit suicide when they have all the support around them?

So I came across another very interesting question on Answerbag. (I prefer Wikianswers, but the questions go much deeper on Answerbag)

What causes a person to feel like he or she has no support? It seems that every time someone commits suicide, he or she had so much of it?

I had to think about this for a minute because I've been felt depressed and hopeless before. Someone responded that we need to listen to the person and what problems they're going thru. He was partially right. We do need to listen, and when we have a support group around us, thats usually the case. We listen to the persons problems and needs. But we need to do more than that. We need to take action and show them that we care. Their maybe several reasons for the person to commit suicide, but the one reason to help them avoid it is to SHOW them you care. We may say "I love you" alot, but HOW do we show it? Words can only go so far, but when we hug them, hold em, take them out to the beach, bowling, the park, or just spend quality time with them, that does wonders to the human spirit. It reaches their heart. We may listen, but we also need to SHOW them how much we care and love em as well.

Read more: What causes a person to feel like he or she has no support? It seems that every time someone commits suicide, he or she had so much of it. | Answerbag

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Alot of drama,heartache for my niece, a lot of forgiveness and a daughter going back home

Well.. alot of stuff going on at home and on FB. Weird how things sometimes trickle down like that. I went down to Angelas this past Saturday to help her transfer some home videos from the VCR to her laptop...except Iwe had video but no sound... that kinda sucked. Anyways I got to find the Pinnacle CD program to make sure everything runs smooth when I go down this Saturday. Saw Toni and Carrie. Those kids a soo cool. I got a "pat on the back" hug from Carrie. Uugh...Can't stand those...and I know she needed a real that counts. I love/care bout her alot more than she realizes.

Anyways...went down to Sam and Bobbys because of what happened last week. I really worry bout my niece but I really want her to know what kind of friends she has. She's got so many good friends that love and support her, from Toni, Carrie, Julia, Skylar, and Lexi. They're all great kids and have a bright future. Anyways.. I talked to Trudy and I'm hoping things have turned around for the better already... she's talking to everyone now and has apologized. I think I need to bring her up to visit Julia this weekend...they need each other for supposrt... especially after what Julia went thru the other night. She was soo pissed at another girl she was shaking and crying. Sheesh!! I mean they're only 13-15, and they've already gone thru soo much crap.

Anyways, Amanda and Conner left for CO Springs yesterday. Me and Kenny saw them off at the airport. She was really upset. Surprisingly I really wasn't that bad. Guess because I know they'll be back soon prob in May/June. The lil "Pumkin" will prob be crawling by then. It seems really quiet around the house without them.   Amanda called today and she was crying. I wish I could hug her.. tell her everything will be alright. She already misses us soo much. About right now is when I'd be giving the kiddo a bath. That was our time together..just g-daddy and Conner. Now I'm getting bummed out. laters :-/