Monday, August 11, 2003

Sad for the other kids

Aug 11, 2003
Last night (Sun) I felt so crappy I couldn't even go to work. I felt weak, sore and I had a major headache. I feel like 50 instead of 40 ! I don't know if I caught a bug or what.
Hey !!......Donna and the kids showed up Saturday !
Andrea & Christy are getting big, Christy is still soo quite sometimes and Andrea is still somewhat of the tomboy.
Tommy hasn't changed !!...still bouncing off the walls and cocky as ever! LOL Jennifer has still got that "I need a hug" look but she's been keeping her distance from everyone. (she's heading in the same direction as Leah's just nobody
realizes it yet..... God I wish I could help her)
Speaking of Leah.....she's in a "teen safe-house" in E-city I think....It started two weeks ago when Donna found out she was doing cocaine. Basically Donna couldn't handle the situation, went to court, and gave her to the state. Now Leah is ward of the state. I knew Leah would get into trouble…but not like this. These are things that can be soo painful in your heart sometimes. I still remember the last night we spent moving from Hertford, the last of the boxes were packed up and we had finished cleaning the house. Leah came over to say goodbye to everyone and had started getting really upset and started crying; she gave everyone such a long hug. I felt soo sad for her. I wait....I KNEW she saw us as her family more than Tim & Donnas'....You want to help out sooo bad but you're unable to because they're not your kids. Sometime it can be really tough.

Friday, August 8, 2003

Frustration ensues

Aug 8th, 2003
Well, things haven't really changed around here, besides Tim about to leave for Fargo in a few days.....He got into a pissing match with big Amanda about trying to watch a show on TV.....In the living room Tim said he had a show to watch, and Amanda was trying to watch hers. (They can't stand each other as it is!!) Soooo Tim just got sick of the whole situation, packed his bags and asked Kevin to drop him off at the Interstate.....Guess he didn't get very far cause he showed up this morning soaking wet with his arm scratched up bad (While it was raining he fell in a gully trying get into a tunnel to get some sleep !---OH MAN !) Hey !...
I've made a good friend on the Flow-Go forums....her name is Amy Horne, from Ohio, and she's had a close friend commit suicide in a bathroom at a party one night by taking a bunch of pills.
God, that was sooo sad...when I first read it I got really upset !......Me & her have been e-mailing back and forth...she's been really depressed and wanting to end her life....I've told her there is soooo much to live for, her Grandma, Grandpa, her friends, her future, her kids..l've been emailing her with lil jokes here and there trying to get her in a better mood. which is kinda hard to do when you’re alone and depressed yourself. God!!

The other day I was soo frustrated!! EVERYBODY wanted me for something !....Vicky needed me to go to the bank, Becky needed me to go to the store, Trudy wanted me to take her swimming, big Amanda needed a ride to work.....I felt like screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE !"....I wanted to just hide somewhere.........but I'm still very much lonely. Isn't that strange ?....that you can have 20 people around (Friends or Family) and still be in the dark feeling lonely.

Made the first step in getting my life insurance. This morning I got a physical at home....aint that cool !...they come to your house !!
She (the nurse) had asked the standard loooong list of health questions and family history...then she had me give a urine sample (ha! easy part)...then she took some blood samples ..SOME blood !!...hell !! she took two whole viles of it !!!..LOL
She did a nice job though with the needle, or at least I thought...cause a few hours later when I took the bandage off where she poked me....there was a huge bump and swelling of blood under the skin....woah!! I almost freaked out...cause I never had seen that happen before.

Vicky said it's because she "broke the vein", it's when the needle goes all the way thru the other side. Nice professional job lady !!....sheeesh !