Jan 27th, 2004
I've seemed to get Jennifer very upset with me because I haven't called her every day. I don't know....I guess it's me but I don't see a reason to call EVERY SINGLE DAY just to say "Hi-ya......how's it going....how's your day....etc".....it's just seems to mundane. I like calling when there's somerthing exciting to talk about....something really funny or upsetting....somethin like that...ya know ?
I've been keepin in touch with Amy (my "buddy" up in Cinncinati).....we've been sendin emails' back & forth to each other....she's really cool.......she's doin alot better since last summer (when her friends commited suicide)....wouldn't mind giving her a big hug just to help her out. Sometimes she seems like she gets really stressed out.....like alot of things are on her mind. It really bothers me.
Amanda (Big) broke up with Paul....actually HE broke up with HER....and she's takin it really hard. He seemed like a really great guy....he's got a good career goin, and seemed like he really loved Amanda and cared about her. Or at least it seemed that way....then one day Paul tells her "he's to busy to get involved in a relationship".
WHAT A JACKASS !!! Now Amanda is blaming it all on herself. She has to understand that she deserves alot more...she's got a good heart....and I hope the right guy comes around for her, someone that really loves and cares for her. Right now she's soo lonely. It really bothers me because I want to give her a hug or a shoulder to lean on but it's difficult to approach her she keeps a distance with her family.....AND THAT BOTHERS ME.
If anyone can & should give support it's your family & friends.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Thursday, December 25, 2003
Does anyone NOT get stressed during the holidays?
Dec 25th, 2003
Yesterday I was sooo stressed out…why ?.....I had told Jenn that she could ( much to my objections) take me out shopping (can’t stand it much less for this time of year)
Anyway that plan had gotten awash cause Becky needed me to watch the baby so her and Vicky could do their X-mas shopping…..what I couldn’t figure out is why Jim had to go with them….oh well…Jenn wasn’t too happy about the whole situation on me canceling on her so soon. I haven’t really felt very sociable with anyone lately……in fact I’ve just wanted to hide and be by myself…just wanting some solitude...some peacefulness with myself.
A lot has happened with me just this past few months. I've gotten involved with Jennifer (happy-go-lucky girl she is !!), I lost my job at Genesis Staffing, it was a alright job for $9.50/hr but a job nonetheless, and then..my Grandma (Dorithy) dies.
Anyway so far this month really kinda sucks….oh yeah….then there’s this problem everyone has with me not getting involved with Christmas ….in fact Vicky had called me a hypocrite (me there with everyone but not wanting to get involved ) No one realizes that first….we don’t know the actual date of Jesus’s birth, they don’t know the real story of the three “wise” men (astrologers, prob from Babylon “the east”), the story behind the star they had followed (it first led them first to King Herod who wanted to have the baby Jesus killed), what he did on earth and his death that was the real importance…..his birth was just a way to place him on earth…nothing more. No-one realizes how much I dispise this holiday. I know one thing…I won’t be here for the next one.
Yesterday I was sooo stressed out…why ?.....I had told Jenn that she could ( much to my objections) take me out shopping (can’t stand it much less for this time of year)
Anyway that plan had gotten awash cause Becky needed me to watch the baby so her and Vicky could do their X-mas shopping…..what I couldn’t figure out is why Jim had to go with them….oh well…Jenn wasn’t too happy about the whole situation on me canceling on her so soon. I haven’t really felt very sociable with anyone lately……in fact I’ve just wanted to hide and be by myself…just wanting some solitude...some peacefulness with myself.
A lot has happened with me just this past few months. I've gotten involved with Jennifer (happy-go-lucky girl she is !!), I lost my job at Genesis Staffing, it was a alright job for $9.50/hr but a job nonetheless, and then..my Grandma (Dorithy) dies.
Anyway so far this month really kinda sucks….oh yeah….then there’s this problem everyone has with me not getting involved with Christmas ….in fact Vicky had called me a hypocrite (me there with everyone but not wanting to get involved ) No one realizes that first….we don’t know the actual date of Jesus’s birth, they don’t know the real story of the three “wise” men (astrologers, prob from Babylon “the east”), the story behind the star they had followed (it first led them first to King Herod who wanted to have the baby Jesus killed), what he did on earth and his death that was the real importance…..his birth was just a way to place him on earth…nothing more. No-one realizes how much I dispise this holiday. I know one thing…I won’t be here for the next one.
Monday, December 15, 2003
Loss of a loved one
Dec 15, 2003
They say death is a normal process of life. That it's a natural thing. If thats true, why do we react so emotionally about it? I lost my Grandma (Dorithy) last month.
I had talked to her back in October, she sounded so full of energy, and so full of laughter I would’ve never guessed she was so sick. I get a phone call earlier from Reanee telling me that she was worried that Grandma might not make it. So with Jims kind help I arrange to fly down on the 3rd of this month.
I arrive that morning in Kansas City, meet Jim for the first time, give my sister a hug, finally meet Shelby and Conner, and then my sister breaks the news that Grandma had died that morning…..It hurt, it felt like a ton of bricks had just landed on my chest….I was mad at myself too for not being there for her.
I pray for god to remember and be reunited with her in the new system Joh 5:25-29.
They say death is a normal process of life. That it's a natural thing. If thats true, why do we react so emotionally about it? I lost my Grandma (Dorithy) last month.
I had talked to her back in October, she sounded so full of energy, and so full of laughter I would’ve never guessed she was so sick. I get a phone call earlier from Reanee telling me that she was worried that Grandma might not make it. So with Jims kind help I arrange to fly down on the 3rd of this month.
I arrive that morning in Kansas City, meet Jim for the first time, give my sister a hug, finally meet Shelby and Conner, and then my sister breaks the news that Grandma had died that morning…..It hurt, it felt like a ton of bricks had just landed on my chest….I was mad at myself too for not being there for her.
I pray for god to remember and be reunited with her in the new system Joh 5:25-29.
Friday, November 28, 2003
A new addition to the family
Nov 28th, 2003
Becky had a 4lb 6oz baby girl on Nov 4th . Her names’ Britoria (sic)….or “Bri”….I just have my own lil nickname for her….”sweet-ums".
She is such a beautiful baby…..everyone around the house has gotten really attached to her, especially both Amandas….which has really shocked me….Big Amanda seems to hold her every moment she gets…..that’s has been the last thing I’d have expected !.....Everyone was over Jims & Beckys the other night (turkey day) and big Amanda was going home and decided to bring the baby home with her….and I came home just a few minutes later finding no one else home but Amanda sitting on the couch in the dark holding the baby (“sweet-ums”)….WOW !!...I guess that maternal instinct has kicked into high gear !! LOL (I think it’s wonderful)
And lil Amanda has been into playing her part of babysitter/mommy…..they both really have been wonderful.
Sam has been up her every other weekend…she’s been so great helping out the family and with the baby. I hope that her and Bobby last a long time….she’s really good for him.
Now for the sad news. Reanee called last night informing me that Grandma isn’t doing good healthwise at all and that she might not make it thru the week……She seemed fine when I talked to her last month while she had been in the hospital for pneumonia. She had asked me when I was coming down and I had told her I was going to make plans next month (Nov-Dec visit) and I’d bring the kids…..and that’s where she was thinking more along the lines of a longer stay without the kids…I kinda thought it strange her not wanting to see Amanda and Kenny but I think she didn’t want the kids seeing her in poor health…..I’m flying down next week on the 3rd and returning on the 19th (Vicky isn’t too happy) Jim was being a great guy charging the tickets on his Visa. I owe him a lot….the tickets were only $ 213 !
Becky had a 4lb 6oz baby girl on Nov 4th . Her names’ Britoria (sic)….or “Bri”….I just have my own lil nickname for her….”sweet-ums".
She is such a beautiful baby…..everyone around the house has gotten really attached to her, especially both Amandas….which has really shocked me….Big Amanda seems to hold her every moment she gets…..that’s has been the last thing I’d have expected !.....Everyone was over Jims & Beckys the other night (turkey day) and big Amanda was going home and decided to bring the baby home with her….and I came home just a few minutes later finding no one else home but Amanda sitting on the couch in the dark holding the baby (“sweet-ums”)….WOW !!...I guess that maternal instinct has kicked into high gear !! LOL (I think it’s wonderful)
And lil Amanda has been into playing her part of babysitter/mommy…..they both really have been wonderful.
Sam has been up her every other weekend…she’s been so great helping out the family and with the baby. I hope that her and Bobby last a long time….she’s really good for him.
Now for the sad news. Reanee called last night informing me that Grandma isn’t doing good healthwise at all and that she might not make it thru the week……She seemed fine when I talked to her last month while she had been in the hospital for pneumonia. She had asked me when I was coming down and I had told her I was going to make plans next month (Nov-Dec visit) and I’d bring the kids…..and that’s where she was thinking more along the lines of a longer stay without the kids…I kinda thought it strange her not wanting to see Amanda and Kenny but I think she didn’t want the kids seeing her in poor health…..I’m flying down next week on the 3rd and returning on the 19th (Vicky isn’t too happy) Jim was being a great guy charging the tickets on his Visa. I owe him a lot….the tickets were only $ 213 !
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